i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
