I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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