Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
