please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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