We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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