i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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