Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
