You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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