dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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