you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize