idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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