oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
