Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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