in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
