Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize