fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
