Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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