I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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