is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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