what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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