bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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