i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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