The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize