no, he came in my armpit
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
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Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
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The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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