when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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