I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
