I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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