He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
