a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
