New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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