This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
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I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
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No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.