what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Drake has all the answers
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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