i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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