Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
