All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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