I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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