I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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