So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
