absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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