So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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