There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
