he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
