Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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