Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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