I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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