i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Oh god it's open bar.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
