the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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