And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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