How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
