1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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