After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
