I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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