If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
