It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
