Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
