I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
