I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
