hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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