Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
