I wish my penis had an off switch
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize