so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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