Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
