yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
