you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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