I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.