Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
