I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Panties = found
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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